Joy, I tell you. Joy! (Being a bit poor can mean being really really rich)

Here is the baby, 17 months old, in the tub. There can be nothing on earth so beautiful and lovable as a baby in a tub. I feel joy whenever he is in the tub: simple minds, simple pleasures. Joy, I tell you.  Joy!

Sometimes the sacrifices that follow the choice to be a stay-at-home mother are difficult. Sometimes I feel sad that I can't throw a big birthday bash for my son who's turning 9 this week. I can't buy a ton of decorations and party favors and have a big $300 party for him.  Nor can I fly him out to visit his grandparents in Florida, as I'd like to do. I can't take him and his friends to Chuck E. Cheese.  I can't buy him all the stuff he wants. He'll probably end up with a basketball, a new pair of shoes (his shoes literally are hole-y) a lego set and a birdfeeder that he can paint and hang outside his window.  And I'll take him out for a shake with two of his buddies after school on his birthday. That is a humble celebration, I suppose, but he'll know he is loved.  He is sooo loved!!! 

Sometimes the sacrifices require me to not buy stuff that we actually need.

1.  We have not repaired our broken plumbing in the master bedroom for three years.  The water is only hot there, and we burn our hands every time we wash them or brush our teeth there.  We are used to it.

2.  We have not bought nice, new clothes for years. We might get a shirt or a pair of shoes once in a blue moon, but the kind of date-worthy clothing I used to wear is a thing of the past. I have worn clothes with holes in them. I wear clothes that don't fit right. I wear my husband's sweatshirts. I borrow shirts from my 14 year old daughter.

My wonderful neighbors give me hand me downs for the baby, so we've had to buy very little, almost nothing, for him. What a blessing. What a great neighborhood.

3.  We have not repaired the missing tile in the front entryway for over a year. Nor repainted the bedroom wall as I want to, nor hung up pretty curtains as I dream of doing, nor replaced our messed up and unmatching bedding as I so desperately want to!  Nope.  We just smile and enjoy it in all its frumpy glory.  :)

4. We have not planted any flowers or added any home improvement, not even bookshelves, which we need-- for years, even though I'd love to.  I dream of apple trees, plum trees, bookshelves in every room, dresser drawers for the kids rather than plastic bins, etc.

5. We have not flown on a plane for many years and have no plans to anytime soon.  This is weird for me since I grew up the daughter of a Pan Am Captain and almost lived in planes and foreign places until I was grown up.

6. We eat a lot of brown rice, beans, potatoes, whole wheat toast, pancakes, quesadillas, and other cheap dinners, but you know what? They are pretty darn healthy meals.  We almost never go out to eat, and if we do, it's date night. If our whole family goes to a restaurant together, it is a serious celebration. We did this last week because a sushi place in Provo had $4 and $5 sushi with get-one-free attached. It was a family home evening activity not soon to be forgotten. Even the baby loved that eel, raw salmon, and seaweed. ( Okay, yes, but A.J. (the 8 year old) did go home and ask for a refill of food. He didn't love that sushi. )

7. We dream of visiting Sweden or other places. But it's only a dream.

8. We have no retirement fund or plan whatsoever.

9. We have no college savings for our kids.

10. We have no buffer if DH were to lose his job.

11. We still owe most of our home to the bank.  BUT.  We have zero credit card debt, and our cars are all paid in full, and we pay our tithing and our fast offerings in full every month, so we have peace of mind.

We are doing the very best we can. 

12. I remember that I got accepted to the U. of U. for a Ph.D two years ago. But I was pregnant, so I thanked them and turned the opportunity down. I would rather have a baby than one more degree or a fatter bank account, any day!

And when I feel a little frumpy, I grab the curling iron or the lipstick and put on my old icky clothes one more time and let my smile do the work that my fashion cannot.  Joy, I tell you.  I am home with my baby.  He is almost 18 months old and still breastfeeding! We have time to do things; like today, we took a bath together.  And we read a pile of stories:  Tomtebobarnen, Are You My Mother, Babar Blir Kung, and The Leprechaun's Gold.  We played with his little cars on the kitchen floor together.  We ate oatmeal and watched animal sounds on YouTube for breakfast.  We ticked and giggled and danced and snorted.

I'll have dinner and love on the table tonight when the other kids and the dear husband comes home. See?  Life is good.  Being a little bit poor can mean being really, really rich.  It's all in how you look at it.   

More photos to share because I love them so much

A.R. is on his mission now.  He writes once a week and says that whenever he can't understand what people are saying to him in Spanish, he says, "I don't know but I do know that God loves His children." (in Spanish!)

Circus

More photos...

A.J. at his cubscout Klondike Day

C.E. did my hair like this and wanted me to pose with the seashell so she could put it on pinterest. :)

Update on the family

Here's a thousand word photo... or two or three or four.

First time to the Natural Sciences museum

First time to the circus

Princess C.E. at the circus

AJ rode an elephant for the first time.

January 2012 Update

Hi!  I have not blogged here for many months, because--

1. I got a paid job blogging for a health insurance company.
2. I have been taking care of so many people, including the addition of my greatly loved but too rarely seen step-children, over the holidays
3. I have been trying to get on top of laundry, exercise, sweeping, etc. more and more (two steps forward, three steps back)
4. And so much happened. 

• A tragedy struck my stepson.  A.R.'s mother passed away very suddenly, leaving him motherless at age 18-almost-19.  It was terrible.  He was in the middle of his very first semester of college, at BYU.  The Bishop asked him what he would do.  A.R. still wanted to go on his mission.  His mother had gotten him ready, had helped him get his wisdom teeth taken out, had helped him submit his paperwork for the mission, had encouraged him every step of the way, and then she died before he even received his mission call.  It was very sad.  But it's been three months. He is now in the missionary training center, and we are so very proud of him and love him so much.  We write him lots of letters.
• C.E. is still taking A.P. Geography, a college level class, as a ninth grader, plus all these other hard classes, and swim team, and young women's group at church, and is almost never home.  I actually miss her, and rarely get to spend any time except at the dinner table, with her.
• A.J. is on the basketball team now, and even though I forced him to do it, he now says he thinks it's fun (a week later!)
• The baby is hilarious and 16 months old now.  Some of his funniest moments of the week include putting margarine to his ear like a telephone while grocery shopping (and I got my own to talk back); crying and hiding in the towel closet when his feelings got hurt over not being allowed to play with the toilet plunger; learning that he can take our hands, or our thumbs, and lead us to food, water, the bathtub, a book, or whatever he wants.  He is so adorable and cute that there are no words for it.  He's the clump of marzipan that we all want to gobble up.
• S.E. was here for two weeks, over Christmas.  She is a wonderful stepdaughter and we love her soo much.  When I think of how it was when DH and I first got married four years ago, and how the love between stepsiblings and stepparents was not really there at first, and compare it to now, it's amazing.  There is a lot of love and it grows and grows.  Real love.

Now I'm going to post some pictures, because they speak a prettier language than words.

bathtime in the kitchen sink - the baby's like a raccoon, dipping his graham cracker in his bath water

The two brothers watch their sister at her swim meet

swim meet

Hejda

SE and Baby H

angel sleeping

C.E. was Santa Lucia this year. Here she is kissing the baby with A.R. holding him.  Love this picture!

At A.R.'s missionary farewell party - DH with his brother and his mom

Christmas Eve Dinner - AJ and CE

A.R. on the day he went in to the missionary training center

S.E. and Baby H. at the museum

A.R. and his dad on the day he went to the MTC

A.R. with S.E. and me on the day he went in to the MTC

A.R. gave A.J. a bee bee gun for Christmas

S.E. and Baby H on Christmas morning

A.R. between his father and his stepfather on the day he went in to the MTC

Good Days

C.E. and her friends before their choir performance downtown

Mormor and C.E.

Mormor and C.E.

Baby H., C.E., and me

Good days have been happening.

C.E. has performed in her high school choir, and it's been absolutely beautiful.  She also has been improving her swim meet times.  She is thriving.  But she's tired, too.  Her schedule is so busy.  She has to fit in homework too.

We got to see the beautiful Christmas lights at Temple Square when she sang there, last week.  Here's A.J. in the Christmas spirit:

A.J. at Temple square in SLC

cousins

Baby H at the cousins' house

at the church art museum - a hands on exhibit for kids

A.J. had his first talent show.  I've been his piano teacher, and I can't play well, myself.  But he's learning and he's improving fast.

waiting for AJ's turn to play the piano at the 3rd grade talent show

She took 7 seconds off her time last night at the swim meet!  Wahoo!

Another swimmer in the family

The baby gets into everything, all day every day.  Except when he's got his seatbelt on, as in this photo.

He makes our lives one big neverending mess-cleaning.  And brings a lot of laugher and love-- more than I can describe.

Festival of Trees

We went to the Festival of Trees in SLC last weekend.  It was beautiful.  And funny!