I have a friend who is in the club. I wearily invented the name the "Divorced Mormons' Club" when I got divorced, six years ago, after a sad, eleven-year-marriage. I realized then that dating after divorce --especially when you are covenanted to obey the law of chastity, and you are committed to not marry anyone who will not make your children's lives truly wonderful, and the pool of available fish seems so small --dating at that stage is incredibly difficult.
I am a happy graduate of that club, three-and-a-half years of wedded bliss later.
But I feel for the people who are there. My good friend, MD, is in that club, and she is struggling with whether or not she should permanently break up with, or marry, a certain guy. We talk on Facebook from time to time. Today I sent her these two links to articles that contain answers to MD's dilemmas; whether or not she really wants to know the answers is another question entirely.
But I think these are smartly written: 1- Dating Deal Breakers: http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19666/Dating-deal-breakers
and 2- Recognizing Emotional Abuse: http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19757/Recognizing-emotional-abuse-in-dating-relationships
On another, related topic: My friend, R., and I did a research project about LDS Filmmakers a few years ago, for a class in our communications grad program at BYU. I had also been making a documentary at the time, and had been video-interviewing my friends and people I'd dated who were "in the DMC" and I told one of these filmmakers about it.
I literally laughed out loud, just a few months ago, when I discoverd he'd made this movie (Real Life Singles Ward). The very same filmmaker who I had discussed my documentary about divorce with, made his own documentary about lds singles! Yikes. I really and truly think he got his idea from me. But rather than being mad that he might have taken my idea, I was happy that he made the movie. I think he did a good job, too. Mine (which is still unfinished) is different in that it focuses on divorced lds singles; his was broad, focusing on all lds singles. Sort of funny, anyway. I'll probably never finish mine. I got so many fish to fry in this life!
I am a happy graduate of that club, three-and-a-half years of wedded bliss later.
But I feel for the people who are there. My good friend, MD, is in that club, and she is struggling with whether or not she should permanently break up with, or marry, a certain guy. We talk on Facebook from time to time. Today I sent her these two links to articles that contain answers to MD's dilemmas; whether or not she really wants to know the answers is another question entirely.
But I think these are smartly written: 1- Dating Deal Breakers: http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19666/Dating-deal-breakers
and 2- Recognizing Emotional Abuse: http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19757/Recognizing-emotional-abuse-in-dating-relationships
On another, related topic: My friend, R., and I did a research project about LDS Filmmakers a few years ago, for a class in our communications grad program at BYU. I had also been making a documentary at the time, and had been video-interviewing my friends and people I'd dated who were "in the DMC" and I told one of these filmmakers about it.I literally laughed out loud, just a few months ago, when I discoverd he'd made this movie (Real Life Singles Ward). The very same filmmaker who I had discussed my documentary about divorce with, made his own documentary about lds singles! Yikes. I really and truly think he got his idea from me. But rather than being mad that he might have taken my idea, I was happy that he made the movie. I think he did a good job, too. Mine (which is still unfinished) is different in that it focuses on divorced lds singles; his was broad, focusing on all lds singles. Sort of funny, anyway. I'll probably never finish mine. I got so many fish to fry in this life!
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